Part Two of MàT's Interview with Robert Johnson

In the second and final installment:

Rojo skates around making predictions for Pittsburgh,
Rojo talks about his progression from a 16:42 5k guy to a 2:23 marathoner,
Sam discusses how marathoning is like being on The Biggest Loser,
Rojo calls Bill Aris a genius,
and much, much more.

For Part 2, go here.

If you missed Part 1, check it out here.

Interview with Oliver Tassinari

This past Friday, MaT sat down with '05 Cornell graduate and everyone's favorite best man, Oliver Tassinari. Oliver currently resides in Boston and has put on weight since the above picture was taken.

Oliver: Well Sam, first of all, I just wanted to say its a pleasure to speak with you today and I'm a big fan of you, Ross, and Gordon in general. Overall, I have to say the blog has been a big success - certainly exceeding the horrible expectations I had for it back in November. Of course, there have been a few turds in the punch bowl if you don't mind me saying so.

MaT: Of course not. Sometimes I feel like I have to provide some filler but only have five minutes to get something up there. I guess it shows. But I have to say we're all thankful for your occasional comments. Any plans on jumping in the PIttsburgh half at this point?

Oliver: Well, I'd rather you not hold me to anything, but it certainly is a possibility. I just returned from a physical where i weighed in at 16.8 stone. While that would be a fine weight if I were planning on challenging Wladimir Klistchko for the WBC Heavyweight title, it doesn't exactly paint an optimistic picture of the possibility of my finishing a half marathon.

MaT: How about the Seidel bet? Something about an 800 this year with money on the line. Has that served as any incentive to run these days?

Oliver: Well, we both know that Seidel is a bit of hype queen, and furthermore I do not recall any bet. I do however feel confident that I will get my weight down by the late spring/early summer enough to put me in a position to contemplate a comeback to recreational jogging.

MaT: I think the bet was 2:08 800 if memory serves, but who's keeping track?

Oliver: Hmm... interesting. Yeah, doesn't ring any bells.

MaT: Is it public knowledge that you're contemplating a return to the academic arena?

If so, could you please post the opening paragraph of your personal statement to your top school choice?

Oliver: If memory serves, my last stint in post-graduate world lasted about two weeks and involved being caught asleep naked on a couch, so I'd rather not comment on the possibility of a return to academia if you don't mind.

MaT: That's fair. Though Jeff and I certainly have gotten quite a bit of conversational mileage over the fact that the first time he saw you, he saw your bare ass in our living room.

Oliver: By the way, how many years is it now that you have been in college? Ten years?

MaT: Yes, ten. I've grown completely complacent and lost the will to live or fight for a better wage. Speaking of losing the will to live, how is the love life going? Feel free to be specific or vague as you please.

Oliver: Well, I can honestly say that I have found the love of my life in Jen. Shes the air in my lungs, and I don't mind if the world knows.

MaT: That's wonderful news. We've all been curious to hear about the skeet shooting.

Oliver: Ah - yes, a wonderful trip to Tennessee, a state where it is all to easy to find access to a gun and shoot skeet with minimal (zero) safety protocol enforced.

MaT: Did you wear condoms like we did in Montreal?

Oliver: {Awkwardly laughing} - I'll just say I was single, and it wasn't my bachelor party. I was single at the time.

For the sake of any readers who may be horrified at this point, the condom reference is related to our paint ball experience at Ross and my bachelor party. We were instructed to apply "condoms" (small plastic covers) over our the ends of our guns during any period where our masks were up.

MaT: Let's get to the nitty gritty. We're something like 16 weeks away from the race. Word is that Ricky Lader is jumping in.

Oliver: Excellent to hear

MaT: Level with us. What are the chances of any of us beating him.

Oliver: Well, I think its clear that your chances are pretty low. I mean, for one, Ricky has experience running a competitive marathon. I think he ran a 2:44 in Harrisburg recently, and he is clearly a long distant specialist whereas the Marathon a Troi trio were mid-d guys. If you guys want to have any chance, you should all hope he shows up in his fat suit.

MaT: What's the handicap, then?

Oliver: Well, from the training the three of you are doing, I'll give Sam a 10 minute handicap against Ricky, Gordon 15 minutes, and Ross a 20 minute handicap (sorry Ross).

MaT: For the record, I don't see the fat suit happening. Zeb said something about Ricky running a 1:13 half marathon recently...on the treadmill.

Oliver: Yeah, so in that case, really your only hope is that he over-trains.

MaT: It's my dream of dreams.

Oliver: If hes in shape, I'll predict Ricky runs sub 2:35

MaT: I would concur. And if that's the case, I think we'd all be happy with your extrapolations from there. Do you think the wedding preparation will have any effect on Gordon?

Oliver: Let's not talk about weddings. I'm still recovering from last year.

MaT: I never got to ask you about your Year of the Wedding actually. How much did that end up costing?

Oliver: Well, I'll put it this way: It's been five months since the last wedding I went to and I almost have saved up enough to buy you the wedding gift I never gave you.

MaT: Yeah, the juice is running on that. The thing about a guest spreadsheet is that that shit doesn't lie when it comes to gifts. But seriously how many did you go to and how much did it cost you in the end. I want to see if you spent more than ours cost.

Oliver: You do the math. I went to six weddings, four bachelor parties, and one wedding shower. Of course one of the bachelor parties was a double. If you remove the strippers from the equation, that personal loan I took out was well worth it.

MaT: I suppose it's a better investment than betting on the Sacramento Kings.

Oliver: Zing!

MaT: I don't want to miss any opportunities to showcase your comedic prowess, but I only have a few more questions. What has been your favorite blog post so far?

Oliver: Sorry for not being funnier. I have horrid gas right now. That question is easy though: The post about you winning the Chilie CHilly 5k when you say "I think it was a mittens day today" in your interview. Comedic gold.

MaT: Yeah, talk about a lame interview, though to be fair, I gave the guy better material than that.

Oliver: Probably better than the interview material I am giving you now.

MaT: And, in my defense, my face was frozen. What do you want to see more of on the blog?

Oliver: Well, its no secret that Gordon has been absent.

MaT: More ridicule of Gordon?

Oliver: I would rename the blog "Menage a Deux" if he doesn't post more. And small penis jokes are certainly in order.

MaT: One alternative I had kicking around the was "Deuxing it," which kind of looks like "Deuche" if you squint and spell douche like a douche.

Oliver: Which brings me to the second thing I want more of: Blue comedy. Drop some F-bombs. Make it more R-rated. Live a little.

MaT: This is coming from the guy who used to take down Facebook pictures with beer in them. Still, your request is noted.

Oliver: I just feel a few shock laughs wouldn't hurt anything... besides any future political aspirations any of you might have. Some nudity would be great, too. Just give the monkeys what they want.

MaT: We could rename it "Race to the Bottom." Do you have any advice as we approach the four month mark?

Oliver: Oh golly. At this point in my post-running career, advice from me is probably as inspirational as advice would be coming from a McDonald's drive-thru attendant. All I can say is, have fun and who gives a shit. It's only a marathon. Hell, Oprah ran one.

Interview with Will Seidel

Will: Fire away.

MaT: Excellent. Just so you're aware of the format and themes, I'm going to ask you questions about running and life, and you'll have however long you need to respond. I always feel the need to be clever when I get interviewed but usually fail to do so. Don't succumb to that pressure for my sake.

Will: OK, I will be straight up.

MaT: What have you been up to since Ross and Gordon left Cornell?

Will: I first spent two years in NYC working as an architectural consultant, and running for the Central Park Track Club. After that I went off to Madison, Wisconsin to do my MS in mechanical engineering, running slowly and getting injured a lot. Now I've finished that and am about to head to Denver to work in the solar industry.

MaT: I'll get back to grad school in a bit, since I want to ask about your defense, but comparing NYC and Wisconsin from a running perspective, which atmosphere was more productive?

Will: I think I sort of skewed the comparison somewhat by being drastically busier in Wisconsin - and I think the stress really took its toll there in terms of the two cities - I can compare them in a few categories:
1) Weather - NYC wins easily, Madison is incredibly cold in the winter and this outweighs the awesome summer/fall.
2) Routes - Madison isn't as great in this category as you'd think (I was hoping for Ithaca-like trails) but it still easily trumps NYC.
3) Running 'scene' - I'd say NYC takes this one. Madison has a good number of studs - but they all tend to do their own thing, and few cohesive training groups exist (at least for the journeyman athlete). Both places have decent racing opportunities - but NYC's proximity to the east coast corridor means more is within reach.
So if you're a huge stud who needs trails, has money to pay for flights to big meets etc. etc. I'd say Madison wins out. If you're a weekend warrior who wants to have fun racing with your friends, NYC.

MaT: Which one are you?

Will: I'm basically the latter trying to be the former. I think running-wise I had more fun in NYC. But who knows - that might be because I have run terribly since getting here.

MaT: So, in terms of Ross, Gordon, and me, would you give the edge to Gordon when it comes to running cities?

Will: Hmmmm. Well I know NYC can be supportive of running fast if you have time to engage in the running community - so I think the potential would be there for Gordon to take advantage of that. With his time commitments though - he basically never had the chance, although in fall 2008 he actually got in quite good shape in about 2 months of half-assed training - even running 1:57 in a ladder workout in practice. Pittsburgh I'm not really sure about as a city - I guess it produced Sam Bair, but on the other hand it kept Sam Bair above 4 minutes for quite some time. Hard to say there. Syracuse seems like a tough place to train - just from what I've heard about it: Cold, snowy, isolated. But I bet it's nice in the summer.

MaT: That sounds about right. I want to go back to something you said about hopes and dreams. Have yours essentially been dashed at this point in that you're happy with your current PR's, or do you still see Future Will as being the most fit version of yourself?

Will: I still think I can go faster. In January of 2009 I went from 1:59 to 1:55 in two weeks, then got the flu and missed indoors. The first weekend in April I ran 4:00 1500m closing in 60 to win my heat, then tore my hamstring and missed the outdoor season. I don't think I'm old enough that those performances are irrelevant - and I believe that if I am healthy and train smart I should be able to recapture that kind of fitness. Recent workouts suggest I am getting close. Of course - this is always the lament of the washed-up runner: 'if I could just get over XYZ injury and XYZ obstacle I know I could be the champ again...'

MaT: Oh Lil' Brudder…

Will: Exactly. I guess I'll find out in the next few years - but I don't think I could walk away now and be certain I got everything out of myself. You're only young once - my dad is forced to always wonder how fast he could have run if he'd really tried. I don't want to be in that situation.

MaT: But what's better? A 30-year-old who has run professionally since college and maybe made an Olympic Trials on $20k a year or someone who's furthered themselves professionally in some significant ways while half-assing the running?

Will: The problem with the 30 year old is he may have given up a lot of chances to realize his potential in the rest of his life. If most of his potential lies in running - it might be a good decision to follow that path. I think my running potential is very limited in the big scheme of things - but I don't think I need to give up much in terms of the rest of my life to try to run fast. Training for running doesn't take too much time - and if I didn't train I'd just be spending more time messing around on the internet.

MaT: That's true, I suppose. Maybe we use life as an excuse more so than we should.

Will: I think in lots of cases there are life situations which make it almost impossible: Med school, i-banking, etc. But I don't do either. The past two years I've worked ~12hours a day, averaged over a 7 day week. That leaves plenty of time. 9-5 leaves TONS of time, though the mental fatigue is a factor. And darkness. It is hard to finish work and head to the track for a hard workout.

MaT: Speaking of darkness, I feel like this is a good time to ask you about your thesis Just so the readers know, you were involved with discovering piezoelectric property changes in barium titanate upon mechanical deformation. Why don't you take us through the experience and tell us how much you ran in the days leading up to your defense.

Will: I'm impressed you know what piezoelectric properties are! But no, that has nothing to do with my thesis. My thesis focused on the simulation of the Supercritical CO2 Brayton Cycle for application in concentrating solar power plants. Basically simulating the performance of a different power-block for converting thermal energy into electricity. The experience of the research itself was very fulfilling, though the writing or reports/thesis was pretty terrible. I had two advisors who were constantly re-revising everything in minute and unimportant ways. I spent huge amounts of time late at night waiting for revisions - and then making them the process was hugely stressful - I am glad it is done.

MaT: Sounds like a big drag. Do you regret doing it?

Will: Nah I'm very pleased with what I did. I just a spent a lot of time doing unproductive things, but I got a ton done - I'm very proud of the research, I think it's important.

MaT: Do you think it's possible that human beings will one day be able to live on solar energy (i.e. not have to eat food)?

Will: I think if we've learned anything from that arsenic-eating bacteria - it is that anything is possible. We could certainly live for some period of time on just solar energy - might be days, might be weeks - depending on how fat we are.

MaT: Right. Have you ever watched The Biggest Loser?

Will: I saw it a few times in college, yeah.

MaT: Do you think its safe to lose 168 pounds in five months? I ask this because Oliver was thinking about running the marathon with us.

Will: Now I must emphasize that I am not a doctor. But I see no reason why Oliver couldn't lose 168lbs in that time. In all honesty, I very much believe Oliver has what it takes to run fast again with focus and lots of weight loss.

MaT: Emphasis on "lots."

Will: Yeah, he needs to get down to 175 or so

MaT: Is there any truth to the rumor that you two have got a bet about whether he can run a 2:08 800?

Will: $100. Very true.

MaT: What is the deadline?

Will: Physically I think he could do it pretty easily. It has to be done during the Boston High Performance meet season. I doubt his ability to focus and get it done though

MaT: So he's got 8-9 months?

Will: More like 7, though maybe 9 months when we made the initial bet.

MaT: What are your predictions for marathon times in Pittsburgh?

Will: It's tough to predict because that requires me to predict what you guys are physically capable of assuming you train at capacity and secondly, predict how much training you will do. I'd guess you'll all run 2:55-3:10 type times. I'd expect Mackenzie to be somewhat ahead due to guile and maybe more training

MaT: I was thinking about a bet of our own, based on one that friends of Steve Hicks had made for New York but never acted on. What do you think about the winner being able to punch the loser in the face at the finish line?

Will: I think it's a safe idea if you can avoid hitting the nose. Maybe a punch in the side of the head? Or a really aggressive open-handed slap.

MaT: Yeah, nose would hurt. The slap might be a good idea.

Will: Luff and I had several bets whereby the loser would get punched in the stomach IMMEDIATELY after finishing a race.

MaT: Right, that's the idea here.

Will: I once punched him incredibly hard in the stomach right after he missed the IC4A standard in the 10k at a home meet

MaT: Did he cry?

Will: Nah, he was a good sport. Sad about missing the standard of course, but he ended up doing alright later on.

MaT: Can you imagine getting punched in the stomach after a race that really mattered to you?

Will: Yeah, I bet it would barely figure in when you consider the pain of the race failure.

MaT: Alright, let's switch gears for a minute. 2010 saw Ross and I get married. Gordon is getting married next summer. What gives?

Will: I'd expect it all follows in the same vein of Gordon's life, that is, trying to measure up to Sammy Mack. I've heard he is applying to med school

MaT: I was trying to get him to apply to Syracuse actually. But what I meant, I suppose, is what's the deal with marriage itself?

Will: I'm maybe not the one to ask about this, but I guess if you're sure you're sure.
I'm not really ever sure about anything.

MaT: Wives can be annoying sometimes. Like when they make you clean instead of writing on your blog. I'm pretty sure about that. My better half is certainly a better journalist than I am, but I have to say I think I'm doing pretty well. On the other hand, I'm running out of ideas for questions. Do you have any questions that you'd like Marathon a Trois to answer?

Will: Why are you running a marathon? Versus say a more traditional distance for you guys?

MaT: Well, I think it boils down to fear of failure and a desire to explore some unknown territory. I think it would be pretty hard for us to be disappointed with the result, and it seems like the sort of event that precludes half-assing it on the preparation side. Gordon ran New York and pitched the idea of running a marathon to us via email.

Will: Yeah I can see that. Do you guys plan to run together - or are you guys gonna go solo?

MaT: I think if one of us is grossly undertrained, it'll be hard to stay together. Staying together is the ideal, I guess, but I think we could split up after a while if the pace demanded it.

Will: I worry that the wear and tear on Gordon could be enormous.

MaT: He's already breaking down. He hasn't posted anything on the blog in like ten days.

Will: Not unexpected. A lot of weight on a lot of long levers

MaT: What has been your favorite blog post in the early going?

Will: Hmm. I like ross's big posts, but only for entertainment. Honestly I would like to see more posts about what you guys are doing for running. Very little in that vein
so far.

MaT: Yeah, I think more graphs would be nice. We'll work on it. Anything else you'd like to ask or say before we conclude?

Will: I think you've got it all!

{At this point in the interview, I tried to drag Will through a Mad-Lib. He was a good sport and filled in answers through about half of it, at which point I could tell he was getting tired based on his answering "apple," "fencepost," and "CD-ROM" for three verb spots. Then Will got a phone call, and I tried to have Natalie fill out the rest. She just yelled at me, forcing me to extract words from her self-righteous oratory. The result of this disaster is published below:

Dear Will,

It seems like only yesterday we installed, but soon we'll put away our helmets and caravans. We'll go on with our lives once we have parted, but how can we say farewell to our pineapples? Wow! I can't believe it's finally time to go. I'll miss the fun times we had together training, appleling, and fenceposting. I'll never forget the time you CD-rommed that phone until you graded stories. What I'll miss most is the way you sat around. It always brought out the work in me. You've changed my life; you've made it frustrated. Leaving makes me feel strangely lazy.

Farewell dear friend,

Sam}