No endeavor can be more rewarding than doggedly working alongside a close group of friends toward the goal of achieving everlasting greatness. Who can say for sure how this marathon experiment will turn out, but my sense of optimism is bolstered by the fact that this threesome can draw upon a prior experience where cooperation led to excellence. No, not the track and field conference championships, because I had absolutely nothing to do with any of those. What I refer to, obviously, is the Cornell cross country team's message board from the summer of 2003.
Created by Sam in an attempt to maintain contact with his teammates while living in self-imposed exile in Boulder, Colorado, the CUXC message board is still reverently discussed in hushed tones by internet scholars and übergeeks the world over. (Conversely, the name of Forrest Dillaway, a computer science major who commandeered the message board the following summer and made a bunch of promises about how awesome everything was going to be, only to violently run the entire operation into the ground, has become synonymous with the term epic fail.)
The message board scaled some stratospheric heights. Sam's epochal STERILE! post, which has served as the impetus for countless university seminars, immediately leaps to mind. The message board was also unafraid to examine the inherently flawed nature of humanity, as avid readers will recall the unfortunate chain of events revolving around an incoming freshman's belief that no soil on Earth was more fertile for the planting of the gay rights movement's seeds than the web forum of a mediocre college cross country team. (Oh, crap. I may have just alienated this blog's entire readership. Hi, Will!) But the enduring strength of the message board lay in its contributors' collective documentation of an overlooked yet crucial era in American history. Gordon's meticulous, surrealistic portrait of a summer spent painting handrails and running through the fetid manure farms of Pennsylvania's Amish country, for example, has been favorably compared to the oeuvre of Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
My humble contributions to the message board consisted largely of reviews of that summer's most frequently aired rap videos on BET. Were those reviews truly unparalleled exemplars of cultural observance and criticism, as so many have gone on to claim? While the acclaim continues to flatter, it is not my place to say. What I will say is that to have been a part of that message board continues to stand as my most treasured accomplishment. I can only hope that this video review lives up to the board's lofty standards.
Now . . . .
I had no choice but to review this video, as the marathon's directors have announced that this song will be blaring on loop across the City of Champions, to be heard clearly on every mile of the course, throughout the entirety of race day.
Once the Steelers and Penguins won championships in the same year, there was only one thing left for me to achieve in this world: Have a rapper from Pittsburgh become wildly popular and take over the hip hop game. Since he broke onto the scene at age 17, native Champions like myself have fervently believed that Wiz Khalifa might prove to be the chosen one, but I must be honest, I'd begun to lose hope when the ingenious Alice Deejay-sampling "Say Yeah" didn't shoot straight to number one.
But good things come to those who wait, as 2010 has pretty much been the Year of Wiz. "Black and Yellow" is the first single from his upcoming album on Atlantic records, and it's quickly become this decade's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in terms of perfectly articulating the collective angst and aspirations of today's youth. It's already launched a new genre of rap videos called Awesome Videos Where Everyone Constantly Waves Terrible Towels Around. Best of all, every time Ray Lewis hears this song, he assumes the fetal position and sobs uncontrollably like a biggity bitch.
So, Gordon and Sam, be sure watch this video before every training run, and we'll probably all qualify for the Olympic Trials. You know what it is.
Postscript: Readers, I know what you're thinking: "RO$$, I've watched the video like twenty-five times already, and I didn't see you anywhere. What's up with that?" Unfortunately, I had prior commitments the weekend the video was filmed. But for those who would twist my absence from "Black and Yellow" into some sort of evidence that I'm not the high priest of the Church of Wiz that I claim to be, check out this interview, where Wiz specifically mentions me shortly after the 1:40 mark:
First of all, I love that you guys have this blog. More ways for me to procrastinate instead of studying for finals. Chyeah!
ReplyDeleteSecond, I had somehow completely forgotten about the glory that was the men's cross country message board and Will's misguided attempt to bring peace, love and understanding to a group that never wanted or needed that pussy shit. Man those were good times. Thanks, Ross, for bringing me back.
Happy training, guys. I'm toying with the idea of seriously training for a half in the spring, if I can get my knee to feel better. This blog will truly serve as a daily inspiration.
-Alyssa
Alyssa, congratulations on being our second reader outside the three of us. You will note that Jeff has already attained the all-revered first follower status, but please don't let that stop you from following as well to add to our cred. I am surprised that Will hasn't stopped by, but I suppose I shouldn't be since we all know that he and most of the former Cook St. guys have been reconciling their differences through their joint venture at lovethecock.com.
ReplyDeleteVaguely aware that this isn't funny and that I just googled "gay porn," which is probably embedded into my computer's cache somewhere, I am signing off. Great post, Ross. Someday I too will opt for quality over quantity.