Squirrels Haunt My Dreams

Hi, my name's Charley. I recently started running, and I'm not great at it yet, but it's coming along. My long run is currently seven miles, but I'm getting to the point where I can run most days without getting sore.

Anyway, I wanted to post a question here since I know some of you guys are more experienced than I am. I'm almost embarrassed to ask it, since it's probably going to seem like it's coming out of left field, but my question has to do with squirrels. Every time I see a squirrel on a run, I have to dart after him. Does this happen to anyone else?

Some background. After pooping in the backyard and eating my morning bowl of Kibbles'n'Bits earlier today, I gave some thought to why I feel such aggression when it comes to squirrels. When I was really young, I asked my mom about where milk comes from. She said that her milk comes from the food she eats. When I asked when I would be able to eat real dog food, she told me that I'd have to wait until I was older. But it wasn't what she said that was striking; it was more the way that she said it. She couldn't look me straight in the eye, but instead had this far off expression on her face. Later that night, I overheard her having an argument with my dad.

"Goddamnit Mona, why'd you have to bring it up at all? Lord knows you can't make promises like that! Not in this economy!"

"Pokey, I didn't say anything! He asked me a question, and I did the best I could to answer him."

"If only those damn squirrels didn't control 90% of the world's money, we'd be able to ensure that our son would be able to get a steady job and put food on the table..."

There's a saying down South, where I'm from: Rats are rats, pigeons are rats with wings, and squirrels are rats with good PR. But local cultural bias aside, after that fateful night, I did some research of my own about the origins of squirrels and their insatiable greed. Long story short, it turned out that my dad was a raging anti-Squirreletic and that in truth, squirrels had been wrongly oppressed for centuries. Still, somewhere deep down in a dark corner where my rational mind could not freely go, I cultivated a deep hatred for all things squirrel.

What bothers me most is that I can't outwardly control this hatred. As a long-standing Dixiecrat who has pushed for social equality at every turn in my young life (simultaneously jawing with our household's staunchly conservative Stuff Pierre whenever his obstructionist opinion surfaces), it just eats me up that I'm still chasing squirrels. As I said at the start of this post, my distraction has started to infringe on my progress toward a healthier lifestyle, as I can't seem to stay on a steady pace whenever I see one of those goddamned shit-dwelling, nut-sequestering rats.

Can anyone help me?