"That's My Quarterback"

It delights me to no end that, as a byproduct of the location of Marathon a Trois' upcoming adventure, it's somewhat justifiable for me to write a blog entry or two about the Steelers. After all, if Sam, Gordon, and the throngs of fans that are sure to come and cheer us on intend to fully appreciate Pittsburgh's charms on May 15th, then they'd best familiarize themselves with the winningest franchise of the NFL's Super Bowl era. As I'm sure our readers can imagine, the city is very excited about the prospect of the Steelers seventh Super Bowl victory. In college, I ridiculously lived my life terrified of the possibility that I would never see the Steelers win it all. And now, here I sit, on the precipice of a third ring in six seasons. What did I ever do to find myself on the receiving end of such splendors?

Yet there has been a black cloud hanging over all of the Steelers' triumphs this season -- the alleged misdeeds of our quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger. Last week on Facebook, Sam seemingly stabbed me in the back when he declared that he was rooting for the Jets to win the AFC Championship. When I asked Sam why, after years of dutifully supporting each other's teams, he'd turned against me, he said it was because he hated Ben. Even though the QB of Sam's favorite team used to (not allegedly) electrocute dogs in his spare time, I couldn't blame him. If I were from any other city, I probably would have rooted for the Jets, too.

But the Steelers beat the Jets, and next Tuesday (i.e., Super Bowl media day) is sure to be largely devoted to discussion of Ben's attempted personality transformation, and what effect that's had on both his play on the field and his relationship with his teammates. You'll hear -- if you already haven't -- all about how Ben doesn't cavort around quite like he used to, and that he no longer acts like he's bigger than the other Steelers or the media that cover him. What hasn't been adequately explored is how Steelers fans currently feel about Ben. Sure, some writers have attempted to informally gauge his popularity among the locals, but simply going around and asking people whether or not they like Ben isn't terribly insightful.

The truth is that every Steelers fan has been forced to come to grips with the Ben situation in their own way. A small minority, like my grandfather, have admirably tuned the Steelers out for the year, possibly longer. Others, like female fans who stupefyingly continue to wear Roethlisberger jerseys every week, clearly have no dignity and couldn't care less about whether or not their favorite athletes might be felons. The rest of us have spent the 2010 season languishing awkwardly between these two extreme positions.

The reason that Ben's rape accusation was so damaging to Steelers fans goes far beyond the fact that an athlete we've all rooted for might have done something heinous. (Hell, Steel Curtain member Ernie Holmes once fired a pistol at a police helicopter and everyone still loved him.) Throughout my entire life, Steelers fans, rightly or wrongly, had a feeling of moral superiority over all other football fans, particularly within the AFC North. Ravens fans blindly worship Ray Lewis, an accomplice to murder. Bengals fans -- who admittedly suffer through a pitiful existence that's outside their control -- have supported an unending parade of scumbags for a full decade now, all the while having the nerve to impose evil qualities upon the Steelers just because one of our defensive linemen lineman accidentally rolled into Carson Palmer's knee. Turning my nose up at those shameless organizations was one of the joys of my life.

When Ben was accused of rape for a second time last March, many Steelers fans, myself included, immediately wanted him gone. Spoiled by the two Super Bowls we'd recently won, I considered maintaining the Steelers' moral high ground to be far more important than chasing another title. I was never a Ben guy anyway; from a personality standpoint, he always struck me as being dull and humorless. I very badly wanted the Steelers to ship Ben off to Oakland prior to the 2010 draft, forcing him to waste away on Al Davis's mess of a team, forever ruing how he'd shamed the NFL's proudest franchise. However, it soon became clear that Ben wasn't going away, leaving me unsure of how to approach the upcoming season. My lowest point came when the Ravens signed yet another murderer, wide receiver Donte Stallworth, fresh out of jail after running a guy over while driving drunk. Just as I began to cock my head back so I could let out a condescendingly righteous guffaw, I remembered that our star QB was a rapist. I then hung my head in shame instead.

Luckily, Ben was suspended for the first four games of the year, allowing all Steelers fans to cheer for the team as freely as we always have. That month was a blast. The Steelers were suddenly scrappy underdogs, and went 3-1 in those games, with it becoming clear that we had a Super Bowl-caliber defense. What followed, at least for me, was a series of rationalizations that have led me to this rambling blog entry.

First, the defense played so incredibly well in Ben's absence that I couldn't help but wonder if Ben's return would launch this team toward rare greatness. It's certainly foolish to expect your team to be historically dominant, especially in the salary cap era, but it did seem like a legit possibility with these Steelers, which was enticing enough that I suddenly found myself looking forward to Ben's return rather than dreading it.

Well, the Steelers didn't end up being great, but they are very good, and as soon as Ben started playing, it didn't take long for me to realize that there were things about him that I missed. The offensive line would collapse, some crazed linebacker would have Ben perfectly lined up for a sack, and then Ben would magically escape, run out of the pocket, and throw a fifty yard bomb to a wide open receiver. Plays like that are the best, and as they unfold, I'm temporarily unable to recall Ben's seedy past. How could I? It's unrealistic to expect me, or any other Steelers fan, to somehow not get excited when Ben is pulling yet another insane play out of his ass when we'd been conditioned to do so for six years prior to this season.

So I've tried as best as possible to keep off-field Ben and on-field Ben separated in my mind. There have been other small contributors to my ongoing rationalization of cheering for him -- the fact that Roger Goodell is an egomaniac shithead who has no problem making up the NFL's code of justice as he goes, the possibility that Ben actually is a decent person who lost his way and is sincerely trying to right himself -- but what it ultimately comes down to is that I refuse to let Ben ruin the Steelers for me. I love watching the Steelers, and I always will. Now that Jeff Reed and Santonio Holmes are gone, there are fifty-two other guys on the team who I genuinely like, particularly Hines Ward and the Young Money Crew. I feel like I should be able to root whole-heartedly for the team I love without it implying that I condone disgusting behavior. After all, I was a Steelers fan before Ben came, and I'll be one after he's gone.

In closing, I'd appreciate it if all of our readers set aside three minutes of their day and watched this video. As its subject knew all too well, living one's life as a sexual deviant in full view of the public eye can be extremely trying. Until next time . . . Here we go, Steelers! Here we go!